"Egbert Turns Red" is a popular picture book (available here on the blog as a free e-book 🎁) for proactively talking with children about the feeling of anger. It is, so to speak, the wild counterpart to the rather philosophical search in "Am I Small?".
Why Egbert turns red – and why that's a good thing: If there is one book that makes anger and strong feelings visible in the nursery, it is "Egbert Turns Red". All parents and grandparents know these moments: Just a second ago, the world was fine, and suddenly the child's mood tips over – the feet stomp, and the face turns – at least it feels that way – bright red.
Egbert, the little protagonist of the story, to whom exactly this happens, offers the opportunity to talk with children about this intense feeling. The book does not condemn anger, but simply makes it visible.
Here are the Top 10 aspects that you can discuss and explore together with your child or children while reading "Egbert Turns Red":
1. Emotional Awareness 😠
The most obvious topic: Anger! Egbert doesn't just get "bad", he turns red. This visualization helps children to name and recognize the abstract feeling of anger. They learn: "Ah, this hot, explosive feeling I sometimes have – that's anger". Furthermore, children can learn to distinguish similar-seeming feelings: For example, one can also turn red because one is ashamed. Someone who turns red is not always automatically angry.
2. Identifying Triggers 🔍
Why does one turn red? Why exactly does Egbert turn red? For example, he is sometimes teased by Manfred, something doesn't work out, or he feels treated unfairly. Use this as an opportunity to ask, for example: "What makes you as angry as Egbert sometimes?" This helps children discover, name, and understand their own triggers.
3. Physical Reactions 🌡️
The "turning red" is a strong physical signal. It makes clearly visible what happens during anger: The heart races and we get hot. Talk about how anger feels in the body – this way, children learn to recognize the signs in themselves earlier. They can learn to effectively support themselves in emotional regulation, to mitigate impulse breakthroughs early, or to redirect them into coping strategies (see 5.).
4. Acceptance: Anger is okay! ✅
The book does not condemn Egbert for his anger; it is simply a part of him. It is a part of all of us. This is perhaps the most important realization for children: It is not "bad" to be angry. All feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, have their justification and are allowed to (and must) be felt. At the same time, it is very important to convey responsibility: It is best to feel feelings in such a way that no one else (including oneself) is harmed or hurt (see 5.; see 10.).
5. Emotional Regulation 😮💨
Okay, Egbert is red. And now? What does he do? Does he scream? Does he stomp? Does he withdraw? The book opens the discussion for coping strategies. One can talk about "anger-feeling tools": Does deep breathing (like a dragon), stomping (letting out energy), screaming briefly outside (without screaming at someone), or perhaps squeezing a "rage pillow" tightly help? Perhaps you can share with your child or children which supportive "anger-feeling tools" you have discovered to be effective for yourself?
6. Social Consequences 😟
How do the other characters in the story react when Egbert is red? Are they afraid, do they laugh, or do they leave him alone? This vividly addresses the fact that our feelings are not only seen and perceived, but also have a direct effect on the behavior of others. It conveys social awareness without shaming the angry person.
7. The Fading of Feelings 🌬️
Egbert doesn't stay red forever. The feeling subsides again. This realization is extremely reassuring for children. It conveys: "Even the strongest anger passes." It is a state, not a permanent condition.
8. Empathy and Understanding 🤗
How do the others probably feel when Egbert is red? And how does Egbert feel himself? The book invites you to empathize with everyone involved. What does Manfred feel? What does the dragon feel? What do the other children feel? It promotes empathy and the understanding that anger and the other characters' reactions to Egbert's anger can arise, for example, from frustration, insecurity, or feeling overwhelmed.
9. Communication instead of Escalation 💬
Often, Egbert turns red before he can say what he feels or what exactly is bothering him. The book is a good starting point for practicing putting feelings into words. "I notice you're about to turn red like Egbert. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" This way, the child learns to communicate feelings before they "explode".
10. Making Amends and Forgiveness 🙏
What happens after Egbert was red? If something happened that one is sorry about, or if one has made a friend sad, that is a good moment to talk about the "afterward". It's about responsibility for one's own actions (not for the feeling!) and about apologizing, if necessary, or setting things right or fixing something. This way, everyone can then start a new situation together that everyone involved likes, e.g., a "green dream".
And yes, of course, the "Top 10" list above of important aspects in the picture book "Egbert Turns Red" is absolutely subjective, and infinitely many other "Top 10" lists with other favorite topics are just as conceivable. Perhaps you could send us your favorite topics that you discovered with your child or children when you get the chance?
Have fun reading aloud and with the exciting conversations that result from it!
